The Broken Road

Yesterday morning I woke up with doubts for the first time since we committed to this adoption. I knew it was just the enemy so I focused on the way the Lord provided the money to host. A few hours later, after a hectic morning I was driving and thinking about what a great kid D is DESPITE everything he has been through! MULTIPLE host families of children from his orphanage have told me, "When ____ saw D's picture she smiled big." or "_____ gave D a big thumbs up, and believe me he wouldn't if he didn't like him!" or "_____ says D is a GREAT kid and believe me he'd tell me if he wasn't!" Another host family said, "We had the privelege of spending a few hours with D this summer, and what a great young man he is!" As I am mulling over all of this, I hear these words on the radio: "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." I absolutely lost it. My heart just BROKE. All of the pain that Chris and I saw in D's beautiful eyes, in his precious Russian accented voice, the fear, the abandonment he has felt, it can ALL be used for God's glory. And God has blessed US through it. The thought of the Lord placing this precious, fragile life in our hands is so absolutely humbling and special. Who are we to receive this privilege? We are mere jars of clay, empty and ready for use by the Lord. So, so, humbling. Here I am, Lord. Use me.