Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Hosting in a Not-So-Small Nutshell

I have been lax in my writing. I had hoped to blog my entire hosting experience, but with a 7 month old, 3 year old, 4 year old, 9 year old, hosting D and visiting with Grandma, I was so absolutely exhausted. However...the experience was amazing.

I was a little disappointed when we picked him up from the airport to be honest. He was polite but his smile was nowhere to be seen. I knew he had to be exhausted from the flight but I had such high expectations after everything I'd heard of him. The drive home was very quiet (we had to take two vehicles to be able to fit everybody, and it was just D, Jacquelyn, Gabe and I in the van and since it was after midnight, the little ones were asleep). He stared straight ahead most of the trip. He did not touch the food I'd brought as suggested by NHFC. The only times he even looked at me were once when I started singing to the radio and once when I drove over the toll bridge, he sat up and started looking around. Here is a picture from his arrival:


The next day he was very quiet and things were a bit awkward. He was very sweet, but the language barrier proved difficult. Grandma (aka, BABUSHKA) being here helped. And when I mentioned going to church that night he perked up and said, "Yes!" Afterward Babushka, D, Gabe and I went to Target to pick out some clothes. He was very humble, really didn't even want me to buy him anything but I told him that it was a rule by the agency, we had to provide for them. So he carefully chose a few shirts and pants. He had no problem telling us what he DIDN'T like! We had fun nevertheless. We also played basketball earlier that day.




As the days passed we learned how to communicate basic things and developed somewhat of a routine, but of course then the holidays hit, and EVERYBODY's routines go out the window, right?! Unfortunately I did not take many pictures at Christmas. I was just enjoying my family! We actually hosted Christmas Eve, and I was pleasantly surprised that D participated rather than to retreat to his room (which I had given him permission to do if it got to be too much).



He is very smart and wise beyond his years, forced to grow up all too quickly. But he is still a kid at heart. He loves to laugh and to make people laugh (just like me!). People sometimes see pictures of him and say, "D doesn't look too enthused about that" or something to that effect and I have to laugh and tell them that he was, but he loved teasing me by deliberately NOT smiling until AFTER I snapped the picture. He thought that was SO funny!

The kids play a lot of cards at the orphanage, and since that doesn't really require any language, the five of us (Chris, Grandma, Christopher, D and I) played a lot of cards after the little ones went to bed at night. I had been warned that the kids play by different rules at the orphanages. While we taught D to play Skip-Bo, he taught us to keep an eye on him...he was a sneaky cheater. But he wasn't doing so to win. He did it to be funny. Was it always funny? No. It got to be a bit frustrating at times, but you choose your battles. Let me just tell you there were LOTS of laughs around this table!!


Speaking of battles, while D is a GREAT kid, polite and obedient, he had no trouble letting me know when he didn't agree with me. :) He yelled at me in Russian on more than one occasion. Part of it is culture and part of it is that he is a teenager. Imagine that!

One thing you are asked to do while hosting is to take your child (or children) to the dentist and optometrist. D did AMAZING at the dentist, so much so that the dentist told me he hoped to see him again. We didn't have to go to the optometrist since D had just seen one this summer (this was his second hosting).

Some things we did as a family were: Zoo Lights at the Houston Zoo, ate Hibachi, watched "Walking with the Dinosaurs" in 3D ("threh deh" as D says it!), the Kemah Boardwalk and of course the Houston Zoo. Here are a few favorite photos from the zoo:






We took him to the airport early Thursday morning. There were a few issues with their passports and travel information, so that kept us too busy to think about saying goodbye, at least for a few minutes. Watching them walk through the gates was pretty heart breaking. There were tears all around. D was stoic as always. He did hug us bye, and I saw a few glimpses back. Before he left I again told him that we loved him, and I again received the broken, "No!" I'd become accustomed to...if there IS such a thing. Even typing that my heart physically cringes.

It took a few days, but things finally returned a new normal. The kids ask about him a lot, and ask for Grandma, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The kids transitioned so well, which made it much easier on Chris and I. However, we still find each other saying, "'SCUSE ME!" every time the scooting chair or the ketchup bottle "fart," flashing each other half second grins then returning to straight faces, and shaking our heads at the thought of his stinky teenage boy feet.

Hosting was a HUGE blessing to us, and I pray that it was for D as well. No matter what happens in the future he will always be a part of our family.

If you'd like more information on hosting, please feel free to ask, and check out www.newhorizonsforchildren.org.

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